The Stewardessen Breakfast Club

Because we all need taking care of.

Whenever there is upheaval in my life, people tell me to take very good care of myself. And for most of my life I have been wondering what that actually means, “taking care of myself”. Honestly?

In my late teens I mostly thought it meant going out shopping and buying as many “feel-good” items as possible — whatever a “feel-good” item may be — and then sitting on the couch and watching movies all day. After all, I needed to rest and feel better.

I don’t blame my teen-self.

As a twentysomething I thought it meant to work as much as possible, no matter what. At least, as long as I was working, my mind was occupied and the money in my bank account would multiply, meaning I would have a good life when I started feeling better. That never worked out, I just felt tired, and the upset would keep eating at me until I moved on eventually.

These days, with a fresh break-up still smarting on my heart, self-care has taken on a new meaning. And I can’t believe it has taken me so long to figure this out.

Lately I have come to realise that self-care has little to do with taking my mind off of the issue, and everything to do with keeping myself well until I can face the problem and find a solution. It means that I show up for myself; I get up in the morning and I make an effort to be the best possible version of myself that I can be, FOR MYSELF.

This doesn’t have to be complicated, little things make big differences. And any effort invested in yourself is an investment well worth making.

When at home my self-care routine starts in the evening, before I go to bed. I make sure that my living room is tidy, my kitchen is clean, and there is breakfast in the fridge, ready for morning. I know, I often don’t feel like I have the energy to clean and tidy, or the foresight to make something to eat I might not even eat in the morning, either. I mean, what is even the point?

But believe me, your morning self is going to thank you. As I mentioned in my Overnight Oats recipe post, sometimes there is no other reason to get out of bed than the nice breakfast you have prepared the night before. Even if it seems pointless, your morning self will thank you; for the nourishment and the small moment of personal attention invested in yourself.

The next step is the way I start my day. With my hectic lifestyle it isn’t always easy to find time in the morning to do all the things I’d like to do, but I have found that if I take the time to take care of myself first, the rest of my day goes by so much more easily.

So here is my morning self-care routine:

The first thing I do is take a shower, a proper one. I wash my hair and, if I have the time, even use a body scrub. You might again think that this is completely pointless, especially if you are not planning on leaving the house that day, or ever again, and nobody is going to see you. Well, you are seeing you, and you are smelling you. And the way you feel in your own skin does influence how you look at the rest of the world.

So take that shower. And wash your hair. And brush your teeth. Small, simple things; but they do make a difference. I will never get over how nice freshly washed and dried hair feels. Doesn’t matter if it is as long as mine, longer or shorter. Feeling clean is the best feeling in the world.

And it does wake me up.

Freshly showered and with my hair dry, I pick out my lingerie. Yep, I wear lingerie every day. Doesn’t matter if there is a guy who’s going to take it off later, or not. I wear it FOR MYSELF. I love this Alice Temperly quote: “Lingerie is that inner, secret glamour.” And no matter who has thrown what in your face recently, you do still have this inner glamour, and you are so worth the pretty underwear. No other justification needed.

From there I go on to skin care. This again doesn’t have to be complicated. Cleanser, serum, and moisturiser is all you need; and it doesn’t matter if it’s drugstore or designer. There is plenty of posts all over the internet on what to use and in which order; but really, as long as you do something, you are winning. Winning for yourself. Your skin will thank you, today, tomorrow, and when you feel you are ready to face the world again; whenever that may be. Again, effort invested in yourself is effort well spent.

With my skincare and undergarments in place, I get dressed. Yes, even if I spend the rest of the day on the couch, wallowing in self-pity, watching box-sets and eating ice cream. I dress up for it; FOR MYSELF. Again, doesn’t have to be fancy; I love my green velvet joggers from Hunkemöller with a massive sweatshirt. But I am dressed.

For the finishing touches: a lick of mascara, a swipe of lipstick, and a spritz of my favourite perfume, the one that smells of orange blossoms and amber. Coco Chanel said it best: “If you are feeling sad, add more lipstick and attack.” And again: you see you, and you smell you. And you do care, no matter how much you are telling yourself that you don’t.

Then, finally, the breakfast. Whatever you have prepared the night before, whether it’s ready out of the fridge, or you still have to cook it. Do it with attention and care. This is for you, and only you. Be kind to yourself, nourish yourself. FOR YOU.

I personally am a coffee and eggs kinda girl, no matter if I’m cooking at home, or get hotel breakfast. And with that, I feel ready to face another day. Has my heart mended in the process? No. Did I get the guy back because my face is clean? No. Has it fixed the world’s prime problems? No.

Then why?

Because I am worth my own love and attention and care. Because it makes me feel better, no matter who has thrown what for whichever reason in my face. I feel better FOR MYSELF.

N.